Dumb 2008 NL MVP Picks Pt. Deux

I think that everyone should
realize that Manny Ramirez is not a viable MVP candidate in the NL, and
surprisingly, there are people out there who know this and are not
going to waste their MVP pick on a guy who played only fitty games in
the NL. He’s wrong, horribly, horribly wrong, but hey, he’s trying
right?

Phillies’ Howard deserves NL MVP over Cardinals’ Pujols

Let
the idiocy begin. To borrow a phrase from one of the worst Homer
broadcasters ever: it’s time to sinch’er up and hunker down here,
folks. Cause when Bob Matthews is writing, you best believe the crap is
gonna start flying.

Ryan Howard is my pick for National League Most Valuable Player,

And
you are a dumb-butt. Here is Howard’s stat line for the year:
.251/.339/.543. Those first two numbers are quite pedestrian, yet you
make him your MVP choice? Sure, he hit 48 HR’s, which definitely helped
his team, but the dude struck out 199 times! That’s one less than 200!
Even Adam Dunn would say, “Jesus, Ryan take some pitches!”

but Albert Pujols is my choice for first baseman on the 2008 Major League Baseball All-Star Team.

Ok? Did you say that just to make up for your crazy MVP pick? You ain’t foolin’ me, Bob Matthews.

Bob Matthews:
Well, Albert, I didn’t pick you for the MVP this year because I put too
much emphasis on RBI’s and and didn’t even look at Ryan’s strikeout
numbers, but hey, you are on the depth chart for the MLB All-Star Team!
How’s that for accomplishments?

Albert Pujols: Who the heck are you, fat man? What are you doing in my bedroom?! Get theheck
out of my house you bafoon! Don’t you know that RBI’s are a suspect
statistic, anyways? Jeez!

Here’s why.

(cont.
for Bob Matthews): “Because I’m a traditional baseball nut-job that way
overvalues RBI’s and Home Runs and have no clue what OBP is. I like MVP
voting because I can dick-around for the first 5 months of the season
and then really only vaguely watch August and September to get my MVP
candidate.”

For your reference, here is a list of NL players
that have better VORP numbers than Howard’s (good, but not MVP-quality)
35.3 and below Pujols’ leading 96.8.

Hanley Ramirez
Chipper Jones
Lance Berkman
David Wright
Jose Reyes
Chase Utley
Matt Holliday
Carlos Beltran
Ryan Ludwick
Brian McAnn
Manny Ramirez
Nate McClouth
…
ok
that list is too long. Ryan Howard is 30th in the NL in VORP. He’s not
even leading his own team in VORP! I’m sorry, back to the RBI’s we go…

My All-Star Team is based on season-long performance, and Pujols had a better overall offensive season than Howard.

Better?
Just better? That one sentence cannot possibly begin to describe how
much better Pujols’ .357/.462/.653 season was than Howard’s abismal
.251/.339/.543. Pat Burrel (123) and Chase Utley (133) both OPS+ed
either the same or more than Howard’s 123, while Pujols was busy
putting up an OPS+ of 190. 190!

But Howard was red hot in September (.352, 11 HRs, 32 RBI) and carried Philadelphia to the NL East pennant.

Yeah
it was all Howard. Chase Utley, Jimmy Rollins, Cole Hamels and Brad
Lidge? They all phoned it in in September, leaving Howard to pick up
the slack. Give me a freaking break with this “hot in September” crap,
it really proves my sarcastic point that you only watch the last two
months of the season.

St. Louis faded in early September when Pujols cooled off

Wha…wha…are
you serious? “Cooled off”? He went .321/.427/.702 in September, which
admittedly is down from his August line of .398/.491/.745, but cooled
off? He was still OPSing over 1.000! The 2008 NL MVP Candidacy: .400 in
September or Bust.

But what about your savior of the NL, Ryan
Howard? Did you happen to look at his monthly splits? Or, again, is
September the only month in which you allow yourself to watch baseball?
Howard
had an AVG of .300+ only twice this season, and those two times were
the only times he even sniffed .250+. He went .213/.328/.463 in August
with 36 K’s and only 7 Home Runs. I don’t know if you, like, know
anything about baseball but, that sucks. Kind of like this article.

In fairness, he was due for a mini-slump after carrying the Cardinals for several months.

I refer you to the rant in the above paragraphs about the “mini-slump”.

But
just several months? How about the entire freaking season? How about
putting up an MLB-leading VORP of 96.8! And “carrying the
Cardinals”…isn’t that within your definition of “Valuable” in the
MVP? Just a thought.

If Pujols finishes on top in the official NL MVP balloting, it would be fine with me.

Then just freaking pick him! He is the most viable candidate out there!

I figure he got robbed of two NL MVP awards when Barry Bonds beat him out with bloated muscles and numbers.

So
Pujols deserves the 2008 NL MVP because he got screwed by Barroid, and
not because he is far superior to any player in the NL this year? Wow.

Here are my picks for the major individual awards:

No,
screw you. I’m done reading your baseball-ignorant crap. You and Bill
Plaschke should get together and whack it to the thoughts of old scouts
and how the statheads are ruining the game of baseball. Get bent you
moron.

Article by 643 Sports Jon